You are NOT a SuperTopSecret agent.
Your identity has been logged.
Your location has been traced.
Log off immediately — or your computer will receive
an uncurable virus in...
seconds remaining
10
INITIATING THREAT PROTOCOL — DO NOT REFRESH
⛔ SYSTEM BREACH CONFIRMED ⛔
> injecting payload.exe...
> disabling antivirus... DONE
> accessing browser history... 😬
> uploading files to shadow server... DONE
> VIRUS INITIATED. SCREEN LOCKED.
> dispatching field agent to coordinates... CONFIRMED
🕴
⚠ Field Agent Dispatched
A Mr. Smith will arrive at your location in...
He is not known for his sense of humor.
10
🔒
Screen Locked
ALL INPUT DISABLED • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ESCAPE
✦ CLEARANCE GRANTED ✦
🕵
Wait — there's a way out.
Become an official SuperTopSecret agent.
Get your own classified email address — and Mr. Smith will stand down.
007@supertopsecret.com
Top-secret statusImpress literally everyone at parties. And funerals.
Classified handleYou choose your own agent codename.
Mr. Smith immunityHe will leave. Immediately. Probably.
Virus removalThis one specifically. We're fairly confident.
* No actual virus was or will be deployed. No actual Mr. Smith has been dispatched (that we can confirm).
SuperTopSecret.com is not responsible for any subsequent visits from men in dark suits, expired milk,
or rogue operatives. The above perks are real. Mostly.